R | Writing | Short Stories | Whatever Happened

You got out of the truck with a smile on your face, I smiled back out of pure habit. I was instantly enveloped on your arms, I couldn't help but wonder how many other girls you'd held this way. When you bent down to kiss me, although I kissed back, you knew something was wrong.

"I talked to Toni last night..."

"Toni? Who's Toni?"

"Don't play stupid...please."

"Really, I don't know who Toni is, is that a friend of yours?"

"How many times did you sleep with her? Tell me about her... I know all about her."

You were quiet. It wasn't like the stony quiet that you would throw at me when we would argue, it was a fearful quiet; you were backed into a corner unexpectedly. I'd ambushed you.

With tenative hands I pulled the 9 pages of e-mails and the two pages of naughty pictures from my purse. You took them, took one look at the pictures, and folded it all back up.

"Why...?" Was all I said. I was shocked at how calm I was. I'd come expecting to beat you to death, yet here I was standing affront you, staring at you with my chin up, staring at you in a way that said, "I'll stand here forever until I get an answer." I recalled my friend Stefane's words: Be strong.

You weren't speaking, you weren't saying anything. I wasn't fazed in the least. Then suddenly you looked like you were about to fall over. Your knees buckled and you slumped to the ground and leaned against the truck. I figured then was as good a time as any. I wanted to scream at you and punch you over and over, but all that came out were soft words.

"Was I not good enough? Was it something I said; something I did? Am I not pretty enough? Did I just not love you enough? Was a simply not good enough for you?" I was careful with my tone, knowing that harshness would lead to the further collapse of you, and words that were too soft would lead me to tears.

You simply shook your head a little. I could literally feel your turmoil, the thoughts racing through your head faster than you could recognize them, emotions flashing throughout your heart like corrupted traffic lights. "Why?" I repeated, "why won't you answer me?"

"I don't know..." Your voice was choked, it ripped at my heart like cats' claws, opening new wounds.

My hands grasped yours. Even now, after all you'd kept from me and all the lies you'd told me, I found it amazing that I still possessed the love to be so gentle with you. "I'm not coming back." I said steadily.

I didn't think it was possible for you to sink any lower...but you did. Your shoulders slumped and your limbs went limp. Your grip on my hands suddenly became frighteningly tight and I could sense you on the verge of tears. "No...! No, no, please don't leave me!" A pause... "Please stay..."

"How could I ever believe anything you say? You'll promise something like this will never happen again, but you've said such things before and look where we are now." I sighed and shook my head, still determined to go through with my decision to leave you. "My Love, My Beloved, My Very Breath, I still love you. I will always love you. Why didn't you tell me? I've always told you that if you've cheated simply tell me, and we wouldn't be where we are now."

There was more silence, filled only with our ghostly whispers. You, despairing. I, still reaching for you blindly through the darkness. Slowly, very slowly... A tear from you. Then more. Seeing you weep was more than I could bear, and I couldn't retreat fast enough. I looked into your green eyes and saw only your pain. My heart crumpled, and I was so angry at myself for causing you to hurt. You leaned against me, held me. I held you too, I stroked your hair and caressed your cheeks. I held you like it was the last time we would ever be alive to see one another. In that moment, I felt your fear and your guilt, looming over me like Death ready to take my life. I held you all the more tighter -- I wouldn't let you go.

You said to me, "Your lips are red...do you know that? I love your eyes, your nose is cute, I love that colour of polish on your toes, even if you asked me six times. Your legs are sexy, your back is gorgeous, your hair is beautiful, even if it is slightly choking when I lay behind you. And most of all...I love the way you love me." Your arms tightened around me.

My heart began to race, and I thought, "I bet he wasn't thinking that when he was fucking her." But my heart said to me, "This, right here, is home."